Dumb Things Divorcing People Do
When I look back to my divorce era, I can’t believe all the dumb things I did. I set myself back financially for sure. And I spent my emotional energy on the wrong areas. And, the mistakes that impacted the kids…. those left childhood imprints. If you don’t want to make the same dumb mistakes I made that later bit me in the ass, read on. Here is the good news. Guess what? You will have control over 100% of these!
Why was I so dumb?
Because I was ready to be done. It took so many years to get to the point where I had the courage to file, I just forged full speed ahead. Sort of like a firewalker. You walk fast. I raced across the embers, to get across fast and reduce my chances of being burned.
Before the Divorce: What are the most common “dumb” things?
Waiting too long to decide. It takes an average of two years for people to contemplate, vacillate, hem and haw, break up and get back together. For me, it was much longer. We lived many, many years of an uncoupled lifestyle, going in public as a family just frequent enough to look “intact”.
Announcing divorce and waiting a long time to file. This is common. People have flipped the metaphoric table and said, “I am done!” and told their partner, “I am filing for divorce”. As a next step they move down the hall into the spare bedroom. Then, do nothing more. Possibly expecting the divorce fairy to sprinkle divorce dust and have it all change as they slept??
Divorcing people often allow emotions to lead and not getting down to business. Too often couples have decided divorce is the answer and both agree, it is time. Then, continue in the cycle of arguing over the same topics. Meanwhile, there is homework to be done. Each are waiting for the other to file, retain an attorney, get finances in order, and approach all the heavy subjects. Instead, the mistake that often occurs is we allow ourselves to get triggered and keep up the cycle of a nightly debate, getting nothing accomplished.
What other dumb things do divorcing people do?
Using me for example, I showed up to the attorney’s office with a note pad, pen and checkbook. No homework done! Here is why, I didn’t know what I didn’t know!
There are numerous other dumb things divorcing people do in the following categories: legal, parenting plan mistakes, assumptions about child support, trusting the wrong people to help you, not working through variable expenses decisions, displaced anger, emotional energy waste and so much more.
Within my DIVORCE START UP kit is the full list of 25 Dumb Things Divorcing people do. I also included related educational guides such as Educating yourself and getting informed is the best place to start. Contents include; Where to Start, Divorce 101, Definitions and Terms, 5 Top Parenting Plan Mistakes, Fears and FAQ, Holidays, Birthdays, and Vacations, Navigating Conflict, and Find the Right.
When it comes to your divorce, knowledge is power. Get informed to prevent mistakes. And schedule some time with me. As someone who has done all 25 Dumb things (and quite a few more) I am equipped to help you make better choices for you and your children.
